I have been meaning to write every day, and like every one out there “I can not find time for things I love the most”. That’s just life’s little irony.
Moving past the thought, I was wondering what makes me do things in a certain manner every day. How do ripples of emotions of people around me tend to affect me. And how no matter how minor a dereliction of voices in my head, I still feel. I’ve read that to be effective you need to reduce your area of concern and expand the area of impact. Now it sounds much easier than actual practice. I can ignore when I’m misunderstood by someone who is not a friend. Certainly there are days when the person who is sitting in front of you, loves you the most, and is talking about something you sure need to do. But no matter how hard you try the Sun is still to rise. The dawn is still a few minutes away, and the wait so called “Intezaar” (in my native language) is still not over.
It’s these days that a cup of coffee or a drink don’t seem to do there job. On one such day, I decided to cry, I decided that I’ll wishfully cry and let things go so that the cycle ends. I agree not on of the best ideas that has crossed my mind. This mention is just to make sure I don’t cross over to the insane category.
While, I gathered my guts to begin and closed my bedroom door, so that no one sees any tears in my eyes. I cried like a baby. And having done that, I made myself a cup of tea and sat down reading an essay. And at that very moment I felt I gave my lives to so many around me to live it for me. Not that loving someone from the bottom of your heart is felony. But, to forget that while flirting with this thin line, you at times forget that even the people who care the most for you, can not get you, what you really want. They can love you unconditionally and truly. They can make your life is easy and can make the journey much more “Fun”. The direction off course has to be set only by you. Now this may seem too big a thought or as simple as this do not take any word too seriously, for in all words said to you and by you there is a judgement of the person who speaks and a view towards the person being spoken too. And may be , just may be there is a part of you undiscovered by any one around. For the sake of that part of your heart…dream.