Somersaults of Life

The irony of life is visible in each and every single particle of dust around us. Going through the somersaults of life, I’ve felt like I will not be feeling well many a times. And every time that happens I ponder why is that happening. I sometimes do take it personally. Now whether you believe in God or a book or a positive source of energy, you wonder why the hell is he/she/it (totally personal preference) doing that. He seems to be doing well with others…And then the invariable comparison pops up in your mind. That’s human nature. So this time around when I found a funny weird thing happening around in my Life, I decided to look at it like an analogy of something I’m a part of. Being a consultant for the “working hard hours” of the day of my life, I can compare God to be like a big time Project Manager. Now he has so many subjects and issues to deal with. Simplifying the number a little, you see that when a Manager is giving you a hard time and tough errands to run. Some people just give up cursing. But, what I would want to believe is that he knows your capability and is pushing you further. You don’t see it, you don’t feel like it, and may be he is not even thinking about you when he made the decision. But on some level of his sub consciousness he knows that you can take it. I don’t know how many people have seen Scrubs, a funny sitcom. It had this janitor character which would never mess around with a particular person because he thought she would not be able to take it. Same goes with so many situations in our life. We feel we can’t handle it, we curse, we cry and we try to fix. Eventually it passes, you might not have gained anything special but believe me it made you stronger and it made you grow. You know it too, so next time I’m stuck with an impenetrable problem, I’d rather like to have faith that somewhere on some level, I know I can do this. It’s possible. And, I keep going on.


PS:- To justify why irony, the mental peace and calm shall come from the restlessness of the same soul. You’ll be churned and you’ll loose something, but you’ll grow no matter what.

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Couple of months back I decided to take a vacation all by myself. The idea was to get some space and think about where I’m heading. I wrote this for my family…especially my parents, when I was there. I’m not a poet but I’m a speaker. I can express all that I feel in my words almost every single time. So here it goes….


I titled it  The fire in my lungs

You cry when you see me in pain,
You hold me close through the storm,

You shout when you know I’m wrong,
You pat me on the back after I fall,

You fade away in shadows in the days of win,
You stood sweating by me in days of preparation,

You forced me to read good things.
You made me go an extra mile when a yard was enough,
You never cared for what I thought,
All you ever wanted turned out for my best,

After all these years, I’m a little late and dumb
to follow your footsteps,
But believe you me, You’re the best any kid could have ever had.

All I do now is thank you for all the harsh and the kind words,
I’m what I’m for I’m yours, and shall be yours to be made,
I’m grateful eternally… I’ve felt him in the good days and the bad
but I can see him in your eyes every second of every day that I ever have.

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Now that I think about it, I’m ready to delve in the past. The fog is a little thinner and the Sun is squinting out of the clouds. I was wondering that how the greatest days in some era become the hardest memories inscribed in the brain. How a day with good Sun later becomes the source of tan. How the fond memory of holding hands with someone becomes the melancholy tone ringing in your heart, after the parting. Well, the answer is simple than you imagine, you are standing on the other side of the coin. Wondering, when a coin is tossed and you call heads or tails, whatever might be the outcome, you might be winning if you were on the other side. Somehow, it feels right to assume that life is just like that. As of now all I see is the side from which I lost in the normal senses of the world. And sometimes when I am really ecstatic I see a better side. But I flip flop as the days pass by. The balance of a coin as you see is rare to find. The point of absolute balance, when you see the coin from both sides is tricky to reach. Nonetheless, it’s interesting from a point of view of an optimistic soul like mine. The other side was not the one that could make you win, it was the other side of your wish. It’s something you never saw, but it’s not bad just because you never dreamed of it. As the wine comes of age and matures, so does the heart. Every new relation you make after this point of realisation shall be more fulfilling as you know that if there is a bad part to it, it shall still be something new in the offering in the near future. And if something bad is in front of you at this very instant, something better is in the store for you. Looking at it this way, no matter what comes along you’re ready for it and you’re definitely a little more content.

As the line of thought was too cumbersome to go through for me, the name Memo-f-ries.

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“Man’s basic vi…

“Man’s basic vice, the source of all his evils, is the act of unfocusing his mind, the suspension of his consciousness, which is not blindness, but the refusal to see, not ignorance, but the refusal to know. Irrationality is the rejection of man’s means of survival and, therefore, a commitment to a course of blind destruction; that which is anti-mind, is anti-life.” | The Virtue of Selfishness

By none other than Ayn Rand.

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I have been meaning to write every day, and like every one out there “I can not find time for things I love the most”. That’s just life’s little irony. 

                                Moving past the thought, I was wondering what makes me do things in a certain manner every day. How do ripples of emotions of people around me tend to affect me. And how no matter how minor a dereliction of voices in my head, I still feel. I’ve read that to be effective you need to reduce your area of concern and expand the area of impact. Now it sounds much easier than actual practice. I can ignore when I’m misunderstood by someone who is not a friend. Certainly there are days when the person who is sitting in front of you, loves you the most, and is talking about something you sure need to do. But no matter how hard you try the Sun is still to rise. The dawn is still a few minutes away, and the wait so called “Intezaar” (in my native language) is still not over.

                                         It’s these days that a cup of coffee or a drink don’t seem to do there job. On one such day, I decided to cry, I decided that I’ll wishfully cry and let things go so that the cycle ends. I agree not on of the best ideas that has crossed my mind. This mention is just to make sure I don’t cross over to the insane category.

                                          While, I gathered my guts to begin and closed my bedroom door, so that no one sees any tears in my eyes. I cried like a baby. And having done that, I made myself a cup of tea and sat down reading an essay. And at that very moment I felt I gave my lives to so many around me to live it for me. Not that loving someone from the bottom of your heart is felony. But, to forget that while flirting with this thin line, you at times forget that even the people who care the most for you, can not get you, what you really want. They can love you unconditionally and truly. They can make your life is easy and can make the journey much more  “Fun”. The direction off course has to be set only by you. Now this may seem too big a thought or as simple as this do not take any word too seriously, for in all words said to you and by you there is a judgement of the person who speaks and a view towards the person being spoken too. And may be , just may be there is a part of you undiscovered by any one around. For the sake of that part of your heart…dream.

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Love…a prose

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.


 by Wiiliam Shakespeare

Certainly, I am far away from writing so deep. But the spirits are high and night is young. This is a beautiful sonnet I read somewhere. To me it all the more means when true love shall knock my door, or may be if it already has, the courage to accept it shall be drawn with it. Lasting forever like a star in the sky or the breeze that just passed by…it shall be with me for a long while…..

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On dreaming reality and realizing dreams

On dreaming reality and realizing dreams.

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